My appalling bathroom habit.

Lots of people has amusing little neuroses about going to the bathroom, but I don't. My bathroom habits are bad. Well, they're not bad in the sense of leaving a mess, but, well, I like to make a lot of noise when I evacuate my bowels. It's just more satisfying to let it rip with all the gas, and liquid, and corn, and foul little gritty bits that make a barrage of kerplunks when they hit the water. And I know it's not a sound people want to listen to over dinner, but hey at least if they do hear it, they'll know to hold off on making that trip to the restroom until the acrid, nose hair curlling gasses have dissipated.

I'm feeling a little bloated after having Mexican food for dinner tonight. I think I'll need my seatbelts for tomorrow morning's honors. Visualize that peoples.